My defiant four-year-old

Posted by: Sharmila Rajah, 29-Feb-2012

Sometimes I find my four-year old being absolutely defiant – ignoring my requests and doing as she pleases. It can get quite frustrating as I stand and plead to her to perform a task, etc. Why is this?

According to experts, defiance is a way a preschooler asserts himself.

Experts urge parents to:

1.    Be understanding - as difficult as it sometimes is, parents are encouraged to be understanding and to tackle the situation with a hug and an explanation. Be kind but firm. Be patient and consistent.

2.    Set limits- preschoolers need and want limits so parents are urged to set them and inform your child what they are. If Ayanna gets upset, she’s urged to talk about why she is feeling so rather than throwing something to vent out her anger.

3.    Reinforce good behavior – praise your little one for his good behavior which goes a long way to encourage him to do more of the same.

4.    Teach him a task – defiance could just mean that the little one is unable to follow through on a responsibility that's too difficult.

Disciplining = teaching him to control himself. He must do the right thing because he wants to.

Empower your preschooler so he is given the opportunity to be in control and to choose.  In due time, they will learn that defiance is not the way to go.