A whopping 84% of Malaysian children have been bullied. About one in every three Malaysian children say they have been subjected to online bullying.

Here are the statistics:

- 84% report being bullied online and/or offline (most bullying is offline).

- 33% of Malaysian children say they have been subjected to a range of online activities that some may consider to be online bullying.

- 15% admit to bullying someone else online; 45% admit to bullying someone else offline.

- 27% said their parents talk to them about online risks.

- 30% of parents monitor their use of the computer.

- 18% of parents teach them online manners.

- 13% of parents ask them if they’ve been bullied online.

These statistics from the Global Youth Online Behaviour Survey were recently released by Microsoft Corp. The survey covered 7,600 children from age eight to 17. It was conducted from Jan 11-Feb 19, 2012, in 25 countries including Malaysia.

Shocking statistics?

That so many children are being bullied and so few parents are doing something about it is shocking indeed.

“Children need an avenue to discuss distressing issues like online bullying to an authority figure. They need to feel safe and reassured when faced with mentally exhausting situations like these,” said Dr Abdul Kadir Abu Bakar, president of Malaysian Psychiatric Association (MPA).

“When avenues like these are unavailable, children may take matters into their own hands and with inexperience, handle the situation inappropriately, which can lead to many psychological and mental problems in the future. It is therefore imperative that parents embark on a more proactive role in monitoring their children’s behaviour, especially online,” added Dr Kadir.

He was speaking at Microsoft's Trustworthy Computing Cyberbullying Roundtable discussion held this week.
 

Jasmine: 'I have my children's passwords.'

Jasmine Begum, director of Corporate Affairs, Malaysia and New Markets, Microsoft Malaysia, believes it goes back to the basics of communication and trust between parent and child.

“In my case, I have my children's passwords. It was negotiated, and I respect their privacy. What we encourage parents to do is to have their children's passwords of their social network accounts. There should be healthy communication and enough trust between parent and child. That trust is not built today. It takes a long time and it's not easy with teenagers,” she said.

Datin Noor Azimah, president of the Parents Action Group for Education (PAGE), agreed: “If you've had that trust with your child from young, they will continue to be able to talk to you about things but if you've had that gap with them from the start it becomes more difficult as they grow up.”

Dr Kadir encouraged parents to instil good values in children from a young age. He said that parents need to take control back from their kids.

Parents, he explained, are afraid of asserting control over their children.

“Children become victims more often than women and men. When there is a victim, there is a perpetrator; perpetrators look for opportunities. When you have a computer in your child's room and let them go online, you are in fact allowing a stranger into your child's bedroom.

“Who allows this? The parents. Why? You paid for the Wifi and the device. We, as parents, must assert some form of control and say, 'I do not want to do this.' But, parents are scared nowadays. They're scared because they think if they don't allow their children to go online, their child will not get all A's,” he said.
 

Noor Azimah ... 'provide an avenue for parents, teachers and children to understand and curb online bullying.'

Noor Azimah highlighted her concern on the lack of formal policies by noting that kids nowadays are exposed to technology at a very young age.

“This may precipitate a technological gap where parents and educators cannot fill, without proper training. Including formal school policies on online bullying may help fill this gap, and at the same time, provide an avenue for parents, teachers and children to understand and curb online bullying,” she said.

Zuhairah Ali, member of PAGE and president of the National Association for Gifted Children, Malaysia, stressed the need for a concerted effort by all parties involved.

Agreeing with her, Dr Kadir said, “It has to be a multi-pronged approach to let children know that bullying is not acceptable. Parents have to say violence is not acceptable. Schools also need to advocate that and it needs to be displayed in big messages in the school. Teachers need to be trained on how to handle the perpetrator and the victim. We should be a society that doesn't tolerate violence. It is a value that needs to be instilled at home, in schools and in society.”
 

Members of the roundtable: (From left) Dr Nurulwafa Hussain of the MPA, Dr Kadir, Zuhairah, Tunku Munawirah Putra (honorary secretary of PAGE), Jasmine and Noor Azimah.