Parents Corner >> Soapbox >> Raising three children alone

Got some tips or personal experiences you want to share with us?
Just email

Raising three children alone

Raising kids is not an easy job,especially if you're a single parent. I'm a single mum with three kids aged seven, five and three.

I remember when I first followed my eldest son to school. I watched as most of the students there had their dad and mum with them. I felt sad, and just wanted to walk away from there with my son, but I had to be strong, even though there were tears forming in my eyes.

My son looked up at me and said, “Mummy, see everyone has a father and mother.” His words just stabbed my heart so deeply that I asked myself why all this had to happen. He also used to ask me “Why daddy don't want to come back?” (Daddy was still around when my eldest was growing up.)

I had to lie to him and say that daddy was working very far away and it was hard to come back. I didn't know how else to explain it to him as he was still young.

Now that he is older will he be able to understand why daddy just left and didn't come back? I know that as he grows older, he will ask again and understand. I am prepared for that day.

I can see the sadness in his eyes and in his facial expressions whenever we go to the park, the mall or just go for a walk and he sees a father holding a child's hand.

That's when I would tell him, “Mummy loves you, your sister and baby brother.” He would smile and say, “Love you too, mummy.”

Being the eldest and a boy, he needs a father around. I do my very best to be both parents to my children. Watching my eldest son grow up and become closer to me as each day passes, makes me feel a joy and happiness no words can describe.

He likes to hold my hand and kiss my cheek, especially before he goes into the school van. He helps me tidy the bed before sleeping, and he even helps me take care of his baby brother. He makes sure his baby brother washes his hands before and after eating, helps him find the milk bottle and all those simple yet wonderful things.

I love to hug him, especially when he's just sitting and doing nothing. He will return my kiss and say “God bless you, mummy.” And, if I forget to lead the prayer at nights, he will remind me with a smile. That's my eldest, David.

My daughter, Jacelyn, is almost like David, although she doesn't ask much about the daddy (she was not so close to him those days). She's quiet and shy around those she doesn't know. But she loves to sing songs from the cartoons which she can remember and even act out scenes from them! It makes me happy and my job is to guess which cartoon it is from.

When I am tired after work or if I am down, she will entertain me with her squeaky voices and funny moves. She is very loving and passionate. At times, she would just sit beside me, hold my hand and start talking about what happened when I was at work, and ask me what happened at work. We will just sit and talk, and my other two kids will join in after that and she will get angry saying, “Let me talk first.”

As for my baby boy, Zachary, he will always say “Thank you” or “Please” whenever he wants something or if he has taken something. At bedtime, he can only sleep peacefully if he holds my hand or even just my finger. So, at times I will wake up with a sprained arm …. To me, I guess it's an assurance to him that I will never leave him.

I pray alone at times that my kids will grow up and understand what LOVE means, and won't let anyone take them for granted, that they will also love and take care of each other. I will always be there for them, sad or happy, good or bad; to guide and guard them in every way.

I am mum and dad for my three angels.

Mummy loves you, David, Jacelyn and Zachary. God bless you.

Dorothy Edna