My two-year-old toddler has been an “easy” baby all along. I don’t think he was born “easy” but rather trained to be “easy”. We always get praises from friends and relatives that our son is so well-behaved at the dining table and in public. We always encourage good behaviour by praising him whenever he behaves well and reprimanding him whenever he does wrong; physical punishment is used whenever necessary.

I make a conscious effort to stay “cool” when it comes to my son’s eating and sleeping habits. I believe that I should not purposely create a quiet environment for him to sleep or force him to eat a lot of healthy food. If he’s sleepy, he should sleep although there is a party around him.

He eats whenever he’s hungry. There is no need for us to put on a show for him just to get him to eat his food or drink his milk. Even when he falls down, I will not overreact. I usually just give him a hug and tell him “It’s okay, no blood”. As a result, he will not overreact when he falls down or when someone snatches his toys.

I try to make him understand that a toy is just a small thing in life which is not worth getting upset over. I tell him, “It’s okay, mummy will give you another toy to play with”. Most importantly, I do not get upset when someone else’s child is unfair to mine. Of course, I would stand up for him when he’s being bullied big time.

I think my son takes after me. He is quite cool when it comes to sharing his toys. He just moves on to play with other things, which will then attract other kids to follow suit. I enjoy watching him being a “trend setter” instead of a follower in that sense.

I teach him to fight only when it’s worth fighting for. Don’t fight for the sake of fighting because it will only make everyone’s life miserable and it will make you an unpleasant person. I hope all parents will understand this instead of teaching their children to be kiasu and big bullies.

Recently, my maid went home for a month and we had to take care of our son during this period. I found that my son had an eating problem, especially during the Chinese New Year period. I lost my cool, which seldom happens to me. I believe that when one is disciplining a child, one should have a cool head, do it out of love and concern instead of out of anger. I was furious as he embarrassed me in front of our relatives. I pinched and spanked him in public. As a result, he became more defiant and didn't want to eat what he used to love to eat.

I realised it was my mistake. It is understandable that kids get distracted when they are travelling and it won’t kill him to skip a meal or two. After all, it is natural for a person to eat and drink whenever he’s hungry or thirsty. Why do we impose a duty on ourselves to ensure that our children must eat and drink? Are they so stupid nowadays that they don’t even know how to attend to their own basic needs? Of course, I am referring to toddlers here and not newborn babies who need more care and attention.

I then realised that by getting angry with him, I made him more stubborn and rebellious. I felt horrible after that. This is the first time I actually felt so upset by my son’s behaviour, after two good years. Anyway, I take it as a lesson and will always remind myself that my son is a mirror of my own behaviour. If I act like a barbarian towards him, I should not expect him to grow up a gentleman.

Just mom
She wins the RM50 discount voucher from Kidz Spot this week