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Children Should I let my child be independent? I am planning to get my girl in a sports school next year after her UPSR. The school is in a different state. My worry is that it is too early. Should I plan for her at this young age or should I let her stay where she is until after her SPM when she is more mature? Will she be able to handle problems by herself at this age without any parent?

Answer

Answered by Woo You would need to ask yourself a few questions before you decide whether you daughter is ready for boarding school:

1) Is your daughter mature for her age?

2) Is your daughter easily influenced by what others say or do?

3) How is your relationship with your daughter? Is she close to the family and able to tell you anything – even with challenges/ personal relationship that she faces?

4) How far is the boarding school – and do you feel comfortable putting your child in the hands of this school?

5) What are the emergency protocols if there are any special circumstances that may arise with your child? (i.e. bullying, loneliness, depression, anxiety, eating problems)

6) Who would be able to guide your daughter if she needs someone more mature to talk to? Do you think your child will be able to talk to this person?

The above are some of the questions you may need to ask yourself pertaining to safety and psychological adjustment of coping with boarding school at such a young age. You need to understand that you may not be able to guide your child on issues relating to education, personal relationship and even values that you would want in your family. Current research findings with school children are highlighting the positive benefits of continuous parental involvement in their children's education. You may also want to take this in to account when making your decision.

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Jamilah Samian and Ahmad Fakhri Hamzah

Jamilah and husband Ahmad Fakhri are professional trainers, Neuro-Linguistic Programming practitioners and authors. Jamilah has written Cool Mum Super Dad, Cool Boys Super Sons and, together with Ahmad Fakhri, The Groovy Guide to Parenting Gen Y and Z. The couple has six children.
Prof Dr Eric Lim

Prof Lim is the founder of the Kits4Kids Foundation. He has a PhD in Educational Management, Master of Education and Bachelor of Special Education focusing on special education, and a Masters in Psychology focusing on child psychology and counselling.
Dentist Dr Alida Mahyuddin

Dr Alida is a senior lecturer and specialist in Paediatric Dentistry at the Faculty of Dentistry, UKM. She is also the Visiting Consultant at the Department of Oral & Maxillofacial Surgery, UKM Medical Centre, and a committee member of the Global Children Dental Health taskforce.
Paediatrician Dr. Hon Mun Cheng

Dr Hon is trained in paediatrics, infectious disease, nephrology and neonatology. The mother of two now practices in a private clinic.
Midwife Ann Ibrahim

Ann has been practising midwifery for over a decade now. Having completed her degree, she worked in Britain for a spell and then returned to her homeland Malaysia.
Psychologist Woo Pei Jun

Woo is a developmental psychologist who has studied and worked in Malaysia and the United States. Her areas of research have involved cross cultural issues related to eating disorders amongst Asians, mental health and behavioural problems amongst children and youth in Malaysia.
Fitness guru Debbra Lee

Lee is certified through the Royal Society of Arts (RSA) from Britain, with specialty certification in pregnancy and postnatal fitness by the YMCA (Britain). She has been conducting pre and post-natal classes for many years. She is the proprietor of Fit For 2 cafe, Kuala Lumpur.
Obstetrician / Gynaecologist Dr Ng Kok Chong

Dr Ng was a lecturer at Universiti Malaya. He is currently a consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist at private clinic. His sub-speciality is infertilty.
Consultant Paediatrician Dr. Yong Junina

Dr Yong Junina is a consultant paediatrician at Klinik Pakar Kanak-Kanak Junina, Mutiara Damansara, and visiting paediatric cardiologist at Darul Ehsan Medical Centre, Shah Alam and Hospital UKM. She is also a visiting lecturer for the department of ? paediatrics, faculty of medicine, UKM.